A spring break to stay whole

I'll be gone for just a bit, but hopefully not forgotten.

Hello, my lovely peoples. Just a note to let you know I’ll be offline and outta sight now until June.

One thing I’ve learned in my “healing journey” (a phrase I used to hate) is that you should take a break before you get to the breaking point, not at it. And if you wait till after, well, that’s not a break. That’s recovery.

I’m doing great right now! All things considered. So it’s time for a break, one that I will actually enjoy.

Since returning to this Substack in January, I have survived coming out as a survivor of childhood rape and sexual assault, which could’ve been like a whole other trauma of its own. Sometimes it kinda was, honestly. But I’ve persevered.

Here’s what’s new in my life these days:

• New friends, healthy people who want what’s best for me

• Reconnections with old friends, including my one-and-only high school boyfriend and a girlhood bestie I had to leave in 1979 when my family moved

• Fewer family relationships, but they’re more authentic

• A practiced awareness in both boundary setting and pacing

• A powerful walk with God

That last one is huge for me, and maybe it is for you as well.

If talk about God puts you off, feel free to reconsider whether Brunette Gardens is for you. I’ve recently been drafting some essays in a new vein, using the Bible as a tremendous resource for healing from trauma. I’ll post a couple of pieces coming up in June that offer a deep dive on Genesis (boundary setting and the meaning of suffering in Joseph’s story) and Exodus (that pesky matter of God hardening Pharaoh’s heart).

I’d like you to give these a chance, as I’m still engaging with the Bible as me, the writer you seem to have tolerated just fine otherwise all this time—even after the big coming out about my childhood trauma. But by all means, if you find religion too “triggering,” somehow even more so than frank talk about sexual brutality, feel free to bypass those pieces, or get out now while the gettin’s good.

Who knows where else this walk will take me, and how that will shape my writing? I understand the Bible is full of gardening and farming wisdom… 🌱 🙏

After a year now in this small town, we have the beginnings of a garden, including 12 native plants, two apple trees, and 21 perennial herbs and flowers successfully transplanted from the old place. Shout out to my brother Jason for helping us with the transplants last June. Here’s how it all came together this spring.

Alumroot flower spike, the start of an apple-tree guild, last year's robin's nest, a view of two barns, a rescued rose bush.

I look forward to picking back up with you next month. In the meantime, though, I’d like to learn more about you, so please take this survey.

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Have a lovely time while I’m away, and I wish you the best in your gardening pursuits, your healing journey (still kinda cringe at that phrase), and your walk with the divine, wherever that takes you.

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Maybe this book of poetry is just what you need right now.

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